How to Tell If Your Teen Is Depressed
Many parents in my practice worry about their teenager’s mood and whether they might be depressed. A common frustration is that their teen won’t tell them how they’re feeling.
Recall that many of us adults, as teenagers, didn’t tell our parents everything. If you’re a parent reading this who was completely transparent with your own parents, we salute you — you managed what most of us couldn’t. For the rest of us, secrecy was more or less part of adolescence.
So what should you do if your teen isn’t opening up?
One important thing to remember is that depression is not just “sadness.” It’s a condition that affects multiple areas of life. As a physician, I encourage parents to look for objective, observable signs:
- Food intake: Are meals regular? Noticeable increase or decrease?
- Sleep: Are they sleeping much more or much less? Trouble falling asleep or waking in the middle of the night?
- Social interaction: Are they engaged with friends, online or offline? Yes — Discord, Signal, and similar platforms count. Are they attending class?
- Overall life function: This is often the gold standard of diagnosis. How are grades, athletics, or other responsibilities holding up?
Please note that one of these signs in and of itself is not conclusive. It’s also important to pay attention to duration. A slump that lasts 1–3 days is upsetting, but usually within normal limits. When symptoms persist for two weeks or longer, that’s the point when parents should bring it up with a pediatrician or psychiatrist.
And one last thing: if you’re reading a post like this, you’re already a caring parent who’s ahead of the curve. You don’t need to be perfect — simply paying attention and noticing patterns in your teen’s life is one of the most protective things you can do.